I have talked at length about how I hate the life I have in my official podcast and my morning show. I don’t hate it because I’m miserable; I hate it for the opposite reasons. I love my life! My wife, kids, family, and friends are great! I always tell people that when they ask if I’m excited to go to heaven, my answer is always the same: I’m in heaven. There is nothing better than the life I have. Don’t give me the empty promises of seeing loved ones again, none of that. I love what I have, and yes, I realize it’s selfish.

This hatred I have for my life is also the reason why I cherish it so much because I know it will end…but it still sucks. A good friend of mine passed away at the beginning of this year, just shy of his 20th anniversary, which was today. His wife, who is left to take care of his young boys and the house and everything else, is a wreck, and it’s heartbreaking. Trust me, my boy wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with his wife and boys, but the universe or God or whoever is in charge had other plans, and it’s sucks.

It sucks to see her try to make sense of it all. It sucks to see her try her hardest to carry on, knowing she’ll never see him again after 20 short years. This is what makes this life suck. I’m a realist. I know one day, the sting of my death will impact all those I care about, and that kills me. The thought of them hurting simply because I’m not here anymore keeps me up at night sometimes, if I’m being honest. I hate the idea of them hurting in any way, but to know it’s my fault or will be it kills me.

Granted, I’m not in control of my life ending, but still, it just sucks knowing this pain I have felt after numerous friends and both my parents died will one day fall on my wife, and kids are just too much to convey into words how deeply that hurts me to know it. Life is precious. I know this and I am a believer, but I don’t see how it could be better in Heaven when I’ve already been given my heaven.

Cherish those you love and tell them you love them while they’re here. Let them know every chance you get!