I am not someone who sugarcoats anything; I always speak my mind and say what I feel. Sometimes it comes off as careless or an asshole, but I can’t control that. Sometimes, I refrain out of respect for others or my wife, but this reservation is only given to a handful of people. This has caused problems throughout my life and given me a reputation for being an asshole, a label I wholeheartedly embrace, especially from those that don’t know me.
I do not seek anyone’s validation or approval for anything. The only opinions that matter to me are the ones my wife and kids have of me. Besides them, I’m not losing any sleep over what someone thinks about me. Sometimes, speaking my mind unintentionally hurts people I respect deeply.
Case in point: when I was at a family function recently, they offered me food, which was pizza, pasta, and fried food. Without thinking, I responded with, “We don’t eat junk food anymore,” while I have complete confidence in the fact that the person I said it to didn’t take any offense, I did not like that I appeared rude or ungrateful.
I love most of my wife’s family and some more than others. Sorry, but it’s true. Some I enjoy, and others I bite my tongue so as not to give them a complex, ya know what I mean. Well, the people I spent Mother’s Day with are some I really love and respect, and I didn’t like how I felt when it felt like my comment was rude.
I did not mean to sound ungrateful, and if asked or if it’s brought to my attention, I will convey my sorrow over the choice of words. My wife and I have dedicated the last few years to getting healthy and not putting poison in our bodies, and recently, we began a rigorous diet. For me to be successful on this diet, I need to disassociate myself from those types of foods, and I do that by calling them junk.
I’m not writing this for sympathy or anything like that, and god knows my wife’s family has their minds made up about me, but in this instance, I legit meant no offense. When I called their son-in-law an absolute brain-dead asshole, that I entirely meant, but that’s got history behind it. You can’t threaten to essentially kill my wife and mother of my children and expect everything to be rainbows, and no apology will fix that, not in my book and not where I’m from.
I’m not going to act out of pocket, but I’m also never going to give him any respect as he doesn’t deserve it. This is the only thing I’ll never apologize for, and I stand by this. I also stand by everything I say, good, bad, or ugly. I own it. No saying “sorry” will fix or repair what I said, but I will explain it. I can’t be held responsible for someone else’s feelings. I don’t control how people feel, nor will I try. That’s just a miserable existence.
A strong, good woman raised me and will never act out of pocket. Still, at the same time, I’m not going to act like someone I’m not because I never have and never will change who I am in someone’s opinion of me that doesn’t make sense, and that same strong woman taught me never to be something I’m not and stay true to who I am. It was okay for her. It’s OK for my wife and kids, so I’m good.
Having said all that, I am grateful for the food there and the invite, and if you were upset by my choice of words, that was not my intent. Call me a diet snob if you must, but I refuse to put any more junk in my body. It was a miserable life, and I will never return to it.
So, if you’re reading this, I did not mean any disrespect, though I’m sure you didn’t take it that way. Anyone else who thought I seemed ungrateful or anything else? I don’t care about your feelings…sorry, not sorry. Let’s chat.
✌️
